The Jump

It’s here.
It’s a big deal.
It’s the first post of my new blog, and this time I mean it.

I’m really doing this.

I can understand how for you, dear reader, this may not seem so exciting as I’m trying to make it, but believe me: it’s an event. This is my final, mighty push into being a writer who writes.

It’s true, there have been some attempts in the past; I’ve “started a blog” twice before. Those were failures. Now an, older, wiser, angrier, and determined-er me is stepping up to do this right.

I’ll start by fixing the mistakes I made before:

Mistake 1:
I didn’t write. I posted one or two articles, and put off the follow-ups until...never.
NEVER returning to something is called ‘Advanced Procrastination’. I have a degree.

Mistake 2:
I didn’t write what people want to read. I wrote whatever I was feeling strongly about at the time, and I wrote it too long. My posts were so long that reading them was a chore, not to mention writing them, which brings us to...

Mistake 3:
I didn’t write! I have frustrated myself to no end with procrastination. I know I’m supposed to be a writer. To me, it’s obvious and inescapable. But until now, I’ve been a writer who doesn’t write. I’ve lived under the constant pressure to write, and ignored it completely. And let me tell you: it SUCKS. The worst thing you can be is willfully useless.

So, I’m fixing it. I’m changing. No more trying, only writing.

This won’t be easy-- it will require extreme measures. Extreme measures like forming a master plan for blogging success, and publishing it, making myself accountable to the whole freaking world.
Oh, dear.

Master Plan for Blogging Success: (Working title)

Step 1:
Commit: Set a regular posting schedule.
While my first attempts were sloppy, haphazard affairs, this time I will benefit from a little organization. This will be a weekly blog. New post every Thursday morning. It may be as short as it wants to be, but I will limit the length to something that can read in just a couple of minutes. I would like people to read it, after all. That’s the commitment.

Ideally, those posts will be made of something people actually enjoy reading, and I will end up with some regular readers. (If you are a regular reader, and you came back to read this, I’d just like to say that I love you.)

I won’t let you down, currently imaginary readers!

Step 2:
Evolve: Adapt from input.
This isn’t about me. …Ok, it’s kinda about me. I’m making this blog to teach myself a few things --like discipline and typing skills-- but I really want what I’m writing to help people, or at least make them laugh. That may --ok, WILL-- involve a learning process.

I welcome your comments and criticisms!

Seriously. If there is something in one my posts that you don’t agree with, or that confuses you, or --God forbid-- offends you, or if you think the whole thing is generally stupid, please, take the time; write a comment, and let me know what and why. (Let’s go ahead and emphasize that ‘why’.)

Please. Really.

How can I improve my product with no feedback? It doesn’t matter how much I love it, if no one wants to read it.
I will try my best to answer all the questions, though hopefully, I will eventually be forced to give up by the hundreds and hundreds of queries, and have to take a more general approach. You should get in on the evolution while you can.


                                                                * * *
*NOTE*
I wish I lived in a world where this went without saying, but while the above may seem like an open invitation to defile my comments page with abusive, insulting trash, I assure you it is not.

I will not hesitate to delete your idiotic comment.

I believe in humanity, really, and I’d like to keep it that way. So don’t even bother with foul language, hate speak, advertising... just don’t.

An example (If you need one):

Acceptable comment:
“Honestly, I couldn’t disagree more. The problem may be very real, but such drastic action would only result in a complete shutdown of the entire system, much as it has in the past. (See this linked article) I wish you would do more research before posting such unfounded opinions.
Also, I found the whole mess to be quite boring. I had to drink an extra cup of coffee to make it through!”

Unacceptable comment:
“THIS IT THE STUPIDEST PEACE OF **** I EVER HAVE READ SAD THINGS IS ALL CHRISTANS ARE DUMB ****S LIKE U Y DONT U GO ****** AND ****** LIKE TEH ****** U R JUS QUIT TRIEING TO TALK UR NO GOOD AT IT SHUT THE **** UP BLAH BLAH GAY BLAH BLAH (INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL REFERENCE) BLAH BLAH...”

You get the point.
                                                               * * *

Oh, and positive comments are welcome, of course. It would be really nice to see some of those tucked in between examples of the type demonstrated above, which are likely impossible to avoid.

Step  3:
Expand: Spin off popular subjects/characters into separate, themed sites. Link to search engines.

This, what you are reading now, is the Motherblog. It’s a prototype. Right now, it has no main point, other than to be a blank slate for ideas.

But I have a lot of ideas.

There are many subjects on which I’d like to share my views. Enough, perhaps that keeping them all in one place would result in something of a mess. One day, I might post an opinion on an important political issue, and the next post might be a poem about yellow squash. If you liked that poem, you might have to search through twenty posts to find another like it.   

When that happens, I will split the differing subjects that come up here into offshoot ‘child’ blogs/sites. One may be a place for philosophical editorials, another for movie reviews, still another may be an outlet for creative works. We’ll see.

From there, I’ll focus on the acquisition of strategic water supplies, and gaining political influence over various military fo--

...That’s not important right now. Further steps --which may or may not include world domination-- will come later. For now, I’m just going to jump in and write. I feel like I have so much to say, and whether or not anyone hears it, I’m going to say it.

I’m ready.

And...

Here...

...I...

...Go.

...Yeah, I’m excited.