This is awkward...but I'm a sith.

“Anakin, my allegiance is to the republic; to democracy!”

“If you are not with me, then you are my enemy.”

“Only a Sith deals in absolutes. I will do what I must.”

“You will try.”

(Lightsaber sounds)

...Really, Obi-wan? ONLY a sith? Don’t you mean “usually only sith deal in absolutes” or “Sith generally deal in absolutes” or “you sound like a sith”? Maybe something that doesn’t sound so, um, absolute? *Gasp* Obi-Wan, are you a sith?

This certainly isn’t the best written scene from a Star Wars movie. (Or the best acted, or directed... unfortunately, it’s not the worst either.) But that scene, or rather that line (only a sith deals in absolutes) has always bothered me, and not because of its self-conflicting (or self-incriminating) nature.

For those of you extraterrestrials and cave dwellers who know nothing about Star Wars, The ‘sith’ are the bad guys. Pure evil. So in English: “Only an evil person deals in absolutes.”

What Obi-wan means, of course, its that no good comes from being narrow minded. Someone who views the world in black and white, leaving no room in their mind for an exception to his own belief is dangerous. It’s never so simple, and any mature person--any good person--knows that.

...And he’s absolutely wrong.

That’s right. Absolutely.

I’m a sith.

I hope we can still be friends.

What about right and wrong? What about truth?
Does believing in these things--believing them to be absolute--make me childish? Does it make me evil? No.
I believe in a God. One God. The ONLY God. A God only describable with absolutes. And I believe there’s only one way to him: Jesus. Does this make me dangerous?


Yup.

People like me--that is, people who believe something--are very dangerous to the comfy coexistence of politically correct society. We just can’t seem to stop disagreeing with each other. Then there’s the yelling and the screaming, and the burning things, and the violence...worst of all, we seem to like telling people they’re wrong. And c’mon, everyone hates that.


What to do?


Well, historically, killing us or locking us up hasn’t helped much. We’d just make more noise, and besides, a person can feel guilty for something like that. There’s a new approach for shutting up religious fanatics, and it’s the most effective one yet.

Just tell everyone that we’re stupid. Like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Tell them we’re dangerous; heck. Tell them we’re evil! 
Create a new kind of “right”. One that prioritizes peace over truth. You’ll have nothing to live for, but at least you’ll be alive.

Before you know, it will be popular culture.


...Or you could chop our legs off, and throw us into lava. That works too.



Disclaimer: For the record, I’m a Star Wars fan, and I don’t think that George Lucas is part of a planned conspiracy to undermine religion. I also do not advocate violence, or affiliate myself with any sith practices or teachings.